Tag Archives: sex

day 12 – Hookups – Yay or Nay?

Today I read a pretty interesting article regarding hookups, you can find the article here. In Hookups, Inequality still Reigns (Credits to Natalie Kitroeff)

For the most part, I agree with the article. Hook ups are definitely not the way to go if you are expecting an exploding orgasm, ladies. From the 2-3 (I count one of them as a half hook up?), I am that prescribed from the article–I overthink when it comes to hooking up; thoughts race in my head when the dirty deed is being done.

“God, my stomach looks fat”, “um, is that hair growth on a guy?”, “should I give him a blow job or not?”

The overbearing questions and self doubt really stands in the way of thinking about myself and my own orgasm. It is just an awkward slab of bodies that I would prefer not dealing with again. Not to mention, in order to have a hook up, one must be slightly/very intoxiacated, which also does not help to the cause. I already have hard enough of a time getting there under normal, loving circumstances. Whirling around the room from the effects of alcohol with a stranger–that doesn’t exactly scream comfortable and ready to have an orgasm.

I am also very particular about having an orgasm, only a certain tempo, a certain type of touching gets me off and it is very hard to communicate that to the partner you met for less than half an hour ago.

I totally have had the misconceptions that hookups are supposed to be this wild, crazy orgasmic experience which may have also effected my actual hook ups. Clearly, that is not the case. However, this also made me realize that for me personally, hookups are a learning experience. I have learned that hookups are NOT for me.

From a selfish and physical point of view, I just don’t see the point of having else self indulge themselves with my body while I lay there miserably thinking “does any girl actually think this feels good?” Also, me being an extreme paranoid health nut, I worry about the obvious STDs/STIs and all of that health risks linked to this type of “sexual risky behaviour.”

From an emotional perspective, I have realized that I like the intimacy of having an intimate relationship with someone that I know. Now, it may not have to be a boyfriend, but someone that I know for LONGER than half an hour and that I can express my likes/dislikes to is something significant I come to value when it comes to hooking up. Most of all, for me, hookups are a rite of passage–something that I have said I have done, tried and could no longer care about anymore. It is just not worth it, IMHO.

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