Tag Archives: LOTD

Picking a Life Partner

Picking a Life Partner

This is one of the best articles I’ve come across recently. Really breaks down for you why people and how people should be getting into relationships. It will highlight some things for you that you don’t realize are important but really should be considering. READ. 

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day 33 – Sometimes, it’s about giving a shit.

Everyone has that one friend who is the one who keeps you in check. The one who makes the harsh calls when you can’t do it for yourself, the voice of reason that can really suck and the one who will slap you silly when you are making a dumb decision. That’s my dear friend, D.

A bit of background on D–probably one of the most ambitious smartest people I know. a little bit wimpy when I first met him, but man oh man, is he successful now. In fact, it used to be me giving him the pep talks when he was in a rut and I would like to think I contributed a bit to his ever growing success of a person.

Sometimes, I hate talking to D. Because he is the realest voice of them all. He brings up the harsh facts that I know and SHOULD do but unwilling to face and the warnings that I shouldn’t make dumb choices even if my hand is already on the trigger. But in the end, he makes me want more–because he always tells me “you are one of the smartest people I know, you deserve the best”. 

That’s why it is very hard to tell him the inadequacies I have been feeling lately. The lack of passion, drive, mundane lifestyle that I am facing. I’ve been putting off on meeting him because I know he’s going to give me that look I hate, which translates into “wtf are you doing type of look?” It’s a look we both know well and definitely ignites a heat worthy conversation.

Anyways, I slightly dreaded our meeting today. I knew I would started getting a bit amped up and defensive again but it didn’t turn out that way. In fact, some of the things we talked about were very thought provoking and I ended up feeling better after our conversation. Like he said, life is a marathon, not a race. He knows that I am frustrated with where I am but what I am putting in are stepping stones for a better future. With those words, I felt much better than how I felt this morning. Anyways, I came back from work and he sent me this email:

I can’t speak for you, but maybe you just need that kick in the pants.

 I can puff my chest now and say I had an amazing year, but I will never forget what the trigger point.

 I was so painfully in love with someone, I was compelled to run away when it was unrequited.

 Ultimately, it’s not just about finding your passion or believing in something – it’s about giving a crap and burdening yourself with something. If you’re unwilling to carry someone/something on your back, then that fire will never spark and the fuel you put into growing a passionate fire is just wasted, because it will sizzle.

 SO GIVE A DAMN – someone or something. You don’t need to love everything you do, but it’s important to throw yourself into it.”

There is no advice realer than that.

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day 22 – Giving Back

As a person, I am very selfish. I like to think to myself that I do things for my family and friends, but in the end, I still put myself first. I think often.. “how can I get better? How do I make more money? How do I make myself a more worthy person?

Recently, the truth hit me in the face. I have come to realize that being a better “person” isn’t just being better at the skills I hone, but it’s about giving back. I have a very dear friend, who for the longest time, I didn’t understand how and why he can dedicate all his free time to help tutoring kids and just volunteering wherever he could. While I used to go out all the time or planning the next party, he was using vacation time to drive all over the city to help kids with homework and doing lectures.

Now, I don’t know if it’s because of my job, or where I am in life, but I have also been tapping into that same question–“how do i give back?” Funny thing is, I applied to a lot of volunteer positions for the sake of getting something on my resume, and none of it worked out. I think the motive of me volunteering was what the problem was–I didn’t like the things I volunteered for, but was only doing it for the sake of doing it.

However, I recently started teaching Chinese at my local temple, and although it is not necessarily the most glamorous volunteer job, I am actually having fun and feeling inherently happy.  I really enjoy helping the kids and it’s a kind of different happiness that has nothing to do with prestige, or recognition or reward. It’s just enjoyable helping others in the moment. Simple as that.

I don’t mind getting up early to help set up and I find myself very humbled by the endless hours that some of the other volunteers put in. It is impressive and so endearing to see how many selfless people are out there.

Of course, on a more personal note, this positions also helps me in the long run as again, having a difference experience such as this helps me become a better person. Although it has only been 3 weeks, I feel that being in such a role allows me to reflect my behaviour. I am more patient with people as dealing with kids is obviously difficult sometimes.. but  learning to set my foot down when they are misbehaving. It is a completely different experience than work or anything else I have done. 

….But let me make it clear though that motherhood is NOT in the picture anytime soon. 

So, as cliche as it sounds, helping others really is a way to happiness. I plan to keep doing this for awhile and continue finding other things that make me happy.. I am still in the search for more fulfilling activities, so stay tuned!

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day 16 – Some Things Never Change?

One of my biggest pet peeves about people and about myself is being late. I HATE it when someone is late, it screams rude and unthoughtfulness. (Yes, I know that is not a real word!)

My dad always told me there were 3 types of person in the world 1) The ones who are always early, 2) the ones who are always on time and 3) the ones who are always late. His advice? Always be the first type of person and if that can’t be, try to be second but never ever the third.

Today, I made the mistake of being the third type of person.

Last night, remembering that I had a meeting this morning with my new team, I forgot to check where the meeting room was. Thinking that I would just come earlier on time and checking with the secretary, I slept late last night watching girly Korean TV shows and ended up making a “just on time” train. The meeting was scheduled for 9 and I arrived at 8:50. However, once I confirmed with the secretary, I realized.. I was at the wrong building. If I had just come earlier or checked last night, I would have found out the building I was suppose to be in was only across the building from where I usually worked.

It was now 8:56, and as hard as I ran with my boots across the usual 15 minute trek, I made it in 6 minutes but still arriving late. Being the new person and it being my very first quarterly meeting, I don’t really think I made a great impression. I felt awkward and my current manager made a joke about how he made a note of it. You know that type of comment never really means it’s a joke.

Anyways, my old manager who is now the VP of our standards group also came to speak to us about some of the new standards within the entire audit function, I chatted with her and told her of my story. She laughed and said “oh, some things never change.” That made me feel a bit embarrassed and upset because 1) why did I have to mention it?! and 2) This type of thing really did happen a lot when I was on her team too.

This situation could have entirely been avoided if I was more prepared or if I came even early. Oh, and I realize.. next time, it is better to keep my mouth shut. People already knew I was late, but why do I need to give them the excuse to think I was dumb too? Smart decisions need to be made a bit better in the future. It’s true, I was late, that was already unprofessional enough.. but let’s face it, I am not a kid anymore, I need to own up to my mistakes and not find excuses as why I was late in the first place.

Anyways, rant over, the lesson of the day is: always be prepared, be early and always smile and stay silent if everything else goes wrong.

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