day 33 – Sometimes, it’s about giving a shit.

Everyone has that one friend who is the one who keeps you in check. The one who makes the harsh calls when you can’t do it for yourself, the voice of reason that can really suck and the one who will slap you silly when you are making a dumb decision. That’s my dear friend, D.

A bit of background on D–probably one of the most ambitious smartest people I know. a little bit wimpy when I first met him, but man oh man, is he successful now. In fact, it used to be me giving him the pep talks when he was in a rut and I would like to think I contributed a bit to his ever growing success of a person.

Sometimes, I hate talking to D. Because he is the realest voice of them all. He brings up the harsh facts that I know and SHOULD do but unwilling to face and the warnings that I shouldn’t make dumb choices even if my hand is already on the trigger. But in the end, he makes me want more–because he always tells me “you are one of the smartest people I know, you deserve the best”. 

That’s why it is very hard to tell him the inadequacies I have been feeling lately. The lack of passion, drive, mundane lifestyle that I am facing. I’ve been putting off on meeting him because I know he’s going to give me that look I hate, which translates into “wtf are you doing type of look?” It’s a look we both know well and definitely ignites a heat worthy conversation.

Anyways, I slightly dreaded our meeting today. I knew I would started getting a bit amped up and defensive again but it didn’t turn out that way. In fact, some of the things we talked about were very thought provoking and I ended up feeling better after our conversation. Like he said, life is a marathon, not a race. He knows that I am frustrated with where I am but what I am putting in are stepping stones for a better future. With those words, I felt much better than how I felt this morning. Anyways, I came back from work and he sent me this email:

I can’t speak for you, but maybe you just need that kick in the pants.

 I can puff my chest now and say I had an amazing year, but I will never forget what the trigger point.

 I was so painfully in love with someone, I was compelled to run away when it was unrequited.

 Ultimately, it’s not just about finding your passion or believing in something – it’s about giving a crap and burdening yourself with something. If you’re unwilling to carry someone/something on your back, then that fire will never spark and the fuel you put into growing a passionate fire is just wasted, because it will sizzle.

 SO GIVE A DAMN – someone or something. You don’t need to love everything you do, but it’s important to throw yourself into it.”

There is no advice realer than that.

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